Meeting Them So They Can Select You: Arrange Marriage

It was the first time she was going to meet someone. Her parents, friends, relatives were all very excited. She had gone to her uncle’s place where they were going to come.

Her mom woke her up that morning. Her father greeted her lovingly. Aunt and Uncle smiled when they saw her. Both the brothers were busy in arranging gift packets and fruits on the tray. Her sister had got that beautiful maroon dress ironed for her. Grandparents gave their blessings and she felt very special that day. Everyone was happy.

She quickly took a bath and put on that anarkali salwar kameez. Then some kajal, mascara, compact and a lip gloss. She wanted to keep it simple and original. She looked at herself in the mirror and felt good. Half dried hair, little makeup, typical Indian salwar suit with dupatta and her smile! So good! She felt happy and content. How girls sometimes fall in love with themselves! Her happiness was no because she was going to meet that person, who, if destiny allowed, would be her life partner forever. No, not that.

She was happy because her family was happy and because she was feeling good on seeing herself in that ethnic look. It reminded her of those retro songs. She suddenly felt that some magic was going to happen. That maybe God was planning to finally give her all the happiness of her share. That maybe an arranged marriage was what destiny had in store for her. She felt excited then, and before she knew, she was day dreaming about how he’d be, how she’d meet him and how they’d talk. Maybe something about their future or about what his plans were. What if he would be smart, good looking, maybe they’d connect instantly? Oh, wow!

But then she stopped herself. She hated day dreaming and pre-assumptions. She liked to take things as they come to her. So she went downstairs. Food was ready and her moms served it with love, unlike other days when she had to ask for it! She was enjoying this special treatment. As soon as she was done, her mom checked her overall looks and smiled. She told her she was looking gorgeous. Everyone else she met after that smiled at her and complimented. Sisters teased her “Ohho, someone is going to get flattered today”, “Gorgeous Di, you’re looking awesome”, “Wow, look at her smile”, “Do you always look this good or is it the blush?”

She smiled at all the compliments. She felt so happy. Her aunt gave her favorite gold earrings and chain; she wanted to make her look the best in the world. She wore them quickly coz they had to hurry. It was about half past 11 when they left for that garden where they had planned to meet. They reached by 12. The boy’s side was going to arrive in 20mins. She got seated in the middle. Her mom kept instructing her about how she should behave in their presence. No ginning, no casual attitude. N don’t talk too much. Just answer those questions which they ask in minimum words. Behave like you’re a simple and homey girl.

She didn’t know when she’d stopped listening. She was now thinking that as it is, this dress was making her what she wasn’t and to top it, she was being told to keep silent. It was not that she was an ill-mannered person, or indecent in any way. She was just free and cool. N wanted to present herself like that. She felt that if they’re going to select her for what she wasn’t in reality, what was the benefit? She then made a mental note that when she’d be alone with the guy, she’ll talk to him the way she was, in reality.

They saw them coming then. The first look! She prepared herself to see him, her future (maybe).

That’s when the reality of everything settled in.

He was dressed in casual denims and a blue colored shirt. He was walking in an attitude which clearly reflected that he was least bothered about what anyone thought about him. He touched everyone’s feet, as was a tradition in their culture and never once looked at her. She felt some kind of dislike growing inside.

She touched everyone’s feet too. Then began the series of serving food and impressing them. Not one thing should go wrong. It was about their daughter’s life after all. Then they asked a few questions, about her schooling, college, placements and job. She had started feeling out of place already. Why did she have to answer all these things when the boy was simply sitting and enjoying. They were given some 15-20mins to talk to each other. He talked in a pleasant way but her instincts told her that this was not the right way.

Then they all went for lunch. His mother kept telling her about his nature. This was something he had expected him to explain. She kept feeling that he was not opening up. His mother and father sat beside her, examining her behavior and asking questions about her. When she had to think 4 times before taking those tasty gulab jamuns, he was sitting comfortably, chit-chatting with her brother. She felt that this was wrong. But she kept smiling and answered everything in the same way her mother had taught her.

Her father paid the huge bill then. It was decision time. That one sided decision which was to come from the boy’s side. Everyone got up to go. She again touched everyone’s feet. Her father and mother waited them at the door of the hotel, so they could ask them. To ask what they had decided. The questioning look, eagerness and expectant faces were something anyone could comprehend by just looking at them once.

Then the boy’s father met her father. He shook hands with them and said “Let’s see”. Her father waited for more to come, but he said nothing.

Then they got into their cars. She waited for him to look at her, maybe say a silent good bye. But there was nothing. He kept looking straight on the road.

They left.

She looked at her father, mother, uncle and aunt. They were all trying to hide their disappointment by keeping their faces calm.

She felt sad but behaved in the same way others were behaving. Calm.

She felt that she deserved a No at least, if not a Yes. The worst time is when you don’t know whether you should wait or not.

An answer was what she wanted. Anything. Just a word of No or Yes!

She then thought about all those girls out there. She had heard that this was very common and happened frequently. But getting a first-hand experience of something like this was very bad. It was worse than other any feeling of the world. She felt her heart ache. Her parents, relatives, everyone was sad. For someone who meant nothing to them. Isn’t this wrong? Just because they had to keep the girl’s side waiting, they did not answer then. Nobody knew whether it was going to be a Yes or a No. But this strange feeling was not going away.

She saw their faces, parents, relatives and felt helpless.  There was nothing she could do to make them happy. She had behaved properly. Just like a decent girl. She had answered everything. What more could she do?

Then she realized that she was feeling sad because of those who meant nothing to her. She could no longer see her parents sad and disappointed. So despite not liking the guy at all, she silently prayed for a yes from their end!